Anxiety is one of those words that I feel like I am not allowed to use unless I’m “officially” diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but I don’t believe that I should ever feel forced to place myself into a box - ever.  I know my body, and I know what I feel, so I can say that I do experience anxiety on varying levels. I have anxiety - not because a doctor told me, but because I live in this body and know what I feel. I’m not saying that I always have anxiety, but I do experience it more often at this particular time in my life, which is why it has come to my attention and why I am addressing it and giving it light.

In this article, I’ll just be sharing little pieces of what I’ve been going through for the past year and a half. This is my experience, and I know myself well enough to say that I, at times, have no idea why or how I’m feeling the way I do. I am just trying to understand myself more, and I always listen to my body and what it is trying to tell me, so this is serious business to me. Obviously, there is something wrong, so I am learning how to respond to things in a positive way so that it gets better instead of worse.

To give you some context, I experienced some very life-altering events in 2017, and I have basically been in fight-or-flight mode since. Side note: I just realized through writing that statement that I can say that I’ve felt like I’ve been in fight-or-flight mode for a great part of my life. I’ve always been anxious about the potential of fight-or-flight, so it is in my nature to want to go, go, go or anticipate that needing to happen at any given time. Wow - did I just have a revelation just now. I think I just did.

When you are placed in survival mode, I guess your body just kicks into overdrive and you have no choice but to replace fear with action. That has basically been my life this past year and a half. There is literally no time to cry or to be weak, but the truth is, I pride myself in how soft I can become, so this takes a lot out of me. I guess this is why the anxiousness has been more apparent. There is literally no moment for me to let my guard down, so I am constantly in an anxious state.

Imagine a car that is in 3rd gear when it only needs to be in 1st. Well, if you’ve ever driven stick, you’d know that this puts extreme pressure on the engine, and it does not feel good at all. It is actually scary. You must quickly switch back to 1st gear for all to be good and for your engine not to explode! That is literally how I feel. My body is in a constant state of overdrive, and it gets draining. I DO feel like I need to explode sometimes. It is a feeling that you can do everything in the world to try to settle and put yourself at ease, but you just can’t.

Now that I am more in tune with my body relating to anxiety, I can pinpoint when I am experiencing it. I feel like I need to do something immediately. I get antsy and restless. When I start to notice it, I truly do not know what to do with myself. I try and try to fill the space with activity or lack of, but it just does not make it any better. I can’t breathe well. I can’t think logically. I can’t seem to calm myself. I can’t sleep at night. All I can think about is what I need to do - next.

When I first started dealing with these symptoms, I just turned to drinking in the evening to put myself at ease, but then I noticed that it became a cycle whereas I would get anxious the next time around simply by thinking about alcohol. I was pairing my anxiety with alcohol, so it kind of became a trigger for it in my mind. So weird to say that, but that’s what I think happened.

I decided that I wasn’t going to continue that cycle, so I tried not to turn to alcohol when I would feel anxiety. I started to do such things as diffusing lavender before bed, which helped tremendously. Drinking tea is another thing that has always calmed me. I also began to drink less coffee and lessen any caffeine intake and try to sleep at an earlier hour or at least try to do so more nights during the week.

When I identified the triggers, I was able to limit feelings of anxiety a lot. I also turned to CBD oil, a natural treatment and prevention for anxiety. After my 4-part series on CBD oil, I learned so many positive uses for CBD oil, so I made the choice to take that next step. I knew about the benefits of CBD oil for anxiety, so I chose not to sit on that knowledge. I wanted to experience it for myself.

Thanks to my BFF, I got a special Christmas gift because I had told her that I had wanted to try it out. Since we are literally the epitome of #SAME #BFFGOALS, we both had been looking into it prior to us even mentioning it to each other, so it was so nice to have someone to talk to about it. She was able to encourage me based on her experience, and since it was all positive, I felt that much more at ease.

I decided to go with a 1:1 tincture in a peppermint flavor, which is basically an even ratio of CBD oil to THC liquid drops placed under the tongue for maximum absorption. I wasn’t sure what it would taste like, but it tasted so good. I actually love the taste. It did take a while to kick in, but after an hour or so, and I was able to experience the benefits thereafter for about 4-6 hours. I have found it to be very calming, and it definitely helps me to sleep well. I literally sleep like a baby and actually get drowsy, which is a feeling I so miss!

The reason why I chose a 1:1 tincture was because I did want to go with something that would immediately provide relief when I am experiencing anxiety and give me that euphoric feeling as well. I do want to try a straight up CBD oil blend next, so that is what I will likely purchase online or at a local dispensary. I’d like to buy CBD gummies as well because they are a convenient way to take it. The reason why I’d like to try 100% CBD oil is because the THC content is not always necessary, even at a 1:1 ratio. I would rather have both on hand so that I could take the 100% CBD oil without having to experience any psychoactive effects. It is definitely a choice that is totally mine to make, and with so many options available, I feel free to find what works best for me.

One thing that I noticed after taking CBD oil, and it’s only been a month, is that my anxiety is less frequent. I have not really had extreme episodes that lasted for days since taking it. I think I’ve taken my CBD drops a total of four times, but I already have been seeing a huge difference in how much anxiety I experience. I am less worried, more at ease, and generally eager about my days and less anxious about the the day-to-day stresses.

As of now, I do plan to continue this method of anxiety prevention and treatment. It’s a natural alternative that is proving to be promising, so I am very happy about it so far. As you may or may not know, I am a huge proponent of going the natural route. I am also an advocate of awareness and being in control of your health, which is why I decided to share my story. If you are curious about CBD oil, I highly suggest you check out my 4-part series on CBD oil and learn more about it. I also recommend you research everything for yourself first, find the answers to all of your questions, and look for the best products and dispensaries.

Things are rapidly changing for the cannabis industry, and it is not like it was nor are people naive to its health benefits. People are educating themselves, building awareness, and breaking stereotypes. I am a firm believer in education and taking it upon yourself to not be influenced by external sources, but by taking on an introspective reasoning and finding the truth for yourself. A few years ago, I would not have said that I would be exploring this industry, but that is what growth is about. It is there for you to attain if you leave room for your ideas to be challenged and for your perspectives to mature so that you can become your best self. I am not the same person I was yesterday, and I am proud of that.

That is it for now! I hope you enjoyed that little glimpse into a bit of a more personal side to my life. It is not easy to share my struggles, but if I can help someone, then it is all worth being vulnerable. I hope you find some useful information in this article. If you should have any questions, feel free to leave a comment below, or simply email or DM me on social media.

how do you cope with anxiety?