Are You Attracting Good Company?
In a world of increasing detachment, it can be difficult to tell if a person is genuine or not just from first appearances. We are all looking for a partner, friend, or colleague who will be a valuable addition to our life. We want to surround ourselves with people who are pleasant and who show good character traits.
But how do we know if a person is really worth our company and who they say they are?
A good person can be identified by their actions and how they treat others. They will follow through with their word and display characteristics that will build trust over time. They will go out of their way to help you with your needs without expecting anything unequal in return. They will act with integrity, compassion, and respect towards you and others, especially when nobody is looking.
What makes a good person?
There are many signs that show that someone is a good person. For example, they may be kind, generous, honest, and helpful. They may also be open and extremely giving of their time, money, and support to others.
The definition of being a "good person" can differ from one person to the next. There are many different ways to define what it means to be "good". However, there are some common traits that people associate with being "good".
Being kind & being nice: What’s the difference?
Being kind and nice are virtues that are good determiners of a person’s character right off the bat. These are positive indicators that display consideration in any circumstance and in any environment.
What’s the difference between being kind and being nice? Kindness is an act of selflessness that comes from within, while niceness is more of an outward display of charm or decency.
Being kind will make you feel good about yourself because it is an act of giving to others; being nice will make you feel good because it is in your best interest to do so.
Deceptiveness can be rooted-out simply by knowing the difference between a person’s kindness and niceness. A person who is deceptive may show characteristics of a nice demeanor simply to get what they want out of the interaction and for personal gain.
Knowing how to identify when someone is genuinely kind and doing things from a place of selflessness is important in being able to gauge what other character traits will follow.
Manipulation happens all the time when people want you to believe they are a good person so that you will do things in positive response to what they are trying to gain from you.
Oftentimes, this manipulation is subtle, and it may take some time before we start to see a person’s true character unfold. Their actions will start to paint a very different picture.
Setting healthy boundaries
With that being said, a person’s kindness and willingness to be supportive are indicators of a good foundation for building upon your understanding of them.
Now, let’s turn the tables. What if you find yourself in a situation where you are too kind and supportive to those you have still yet to determine value from?
Well, this can be a problem too. Knowing how to be kind and supportive without sacrificing your own needs and desires is very important to your well-being.
One thing to remember is to never be afraid to say “no”. Never say “yes” when you really mean “no”. You might not always be able to say no, and that's okay, however saying it when you genuinely do not agree is the best way to show a person that you have boundaries and limits.
It can be hard to say no, but it's important for people to know what your boundaries and limits are. This is a display of self-care, and you will be able to weed out those who are not willing to respect your needs as well.
Trust takes time. The best way to avoid being deceived or misled by others you are just getting to know is to allow for time and space to learn about them and to allow them to show themselves first before you get involved further. Gather information and let things develop. You may even want to look into doing a search of public records, especially for business dealings.
If you’re just getting to know someone and don’t trust them yet, start with building strong open communication. At a bare minimum, open and solid communication should be the first thing we look for in validating a person’s intent. If they can’t provide for a basic need such as communication at the very beginning, this is a serious red flag.
Allow this to happen prior to you engaging in a more serious personal or professional partnership or relationship that way the substance of your interactions is built on a solid foundation. When someone knows exactly who you are and what you are trying to achieve in your interaction, you will have fewer questions posed later on, and you can expect the exact same from them in return.
Takeaways
Know how to identify the difference between a kind and a nice person, set healthy boundaries, and build upon open communication from the beginning.
Overall, a good person can be defined by five key qualities:
The ability to show genuine empathy towards others.
The ability to be honest and trustworthy.
The ability to act with integrity.
The ability to be kind and compassionate.
The courage to do what is right at all times.